Friday, August 10, 2012

#OBSummer Guest Post - An Ounce of Prevention

An Ounce of Prevention
by Rebekah Webb

This question was answered by Car Johnson, the main character of The Life and Times of Car Johnson.

Is an ounce of prevention really worth a pound of cure? Which is more valuable? Why do you feel this way?

I believe that life should be lived and the only way to live it is to embrace any ideas you have and ride them the way of impulse to whatever consequences might happen. It’s better to clean up a mess than never get your hands dirty. Well maybe better isn’t the right word, but it’s certainly more fun.

A few weeks ago, I went out for a walk and forgot to wear pants. Now, most people would be all embarrassed and slink back home with bright red faces. I just took it as an opportunity to show off my new superhero boxer shorts. How would the public have ever known about my spiffy new underpants if I always double checked to make sure I had everything before I walked out the door.

And that doesn’t even attempt to scratch the surface of my impulsive way of life. I may not have the best track record of business ideas, but each failure is a learning experience. I would have never known that a home enema kit made out of a fire hose was a bad idea or that a toddler toy called “My First Autopsy” might not be something parents approved of, if I hadn’t created them in the first place.

If I cared about consequences, I’d never have met my girlfriend, Candy. She wasn’t the most stable girlfriend I ever had and her different personalities were sometimes hard to handle. But if I just gave up on her and never gave her that second chance, I would have never realized how much of a kindred spirit we were and would still be dating a long string of women intent on either cutting off my limbs or trying to convince me to join a cult.

Waiting until the crap hits the fan (I’ve actually had that happen and it is not fun,) and cleaning up afterward is what life is about. Even the negatives can be turned into something good. Injuries lead to plastic surgery and lawsuits, leaving you with enough money to repair any property damage you may cause. Humiliation is just another form of attention, and a lot easier to accomplish than winning a Nobel Prize or curing cancer. And being chased by the cops is a great way to stay fit and trim. 

If you want your life to be filled with adventure and never know what will happen next, take a page from my book and do everything without thinking. It’s not hard. All you have to do is shut off that part of your brain that says things like “Stop” and “What the hell are you thinking?” I’m a natural at this, but for most people it will probably take some practice.

You’ll need to start doing little things, like grabbing something to eat from the fridge without checking to see what is. After you’ve mastered that, you can move on to grabbing a bunch of random things from the fridge and making a meal of them, no matter if they traditionally go together or not. Eating a pickle pudding cheesecake burger is not going to kill you. I mean, my mother made them for me as a child and I turned out just fine.


Genre - Humor 
Rating - PG13 

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  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. This one had a typo. Sorry about that.:)

  2. Thank you for hosting my blog post. I hope Car's philosophy inspires you to be more like him.

    Actually, that might not be such a good idea. But I hope it inspires you to laugh a bit. :)


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